Jamaican Hottie Hotties

The other day while going home from work I encountered an interesting young lady. I had just walked out to catch a taxi. While I was walking towards the bus stop, i noticed her. She was a slim, short, brown girl. I imagine most men would think her attractive, not wow, but, she was dressed neatly and nicely and she looked pleasant. I noticed her particularly because i took interest in the handbag she had strewn over her shoulder. That's how i am, i love accessories, anyway, since i liked her handbag i decided to take in some more of her outfit.The handbag that started the next series of events was a beautiful brown guess handbag. This was part of an outfit that included, mini Guess Jeans skirt, brand named, blouse, shoes, and belt to boot....

Read more »

Things We Say That We Don't Really Mean

People tend to just say things off the top of their heads without thinking about it. I've been victim to this truth so many times myself, its just things that we are so accustomed to saying, its what we've been taught to say, its what comes naturally, its part of society's norms, but if you think about half these things, do we really mean what we say?Take for example the following scenarios:1. Someone accidentally opens the door the the toilet that you are in the middle of using, (most likely if you fall prey to a weak bladder and are forced to use public conveniences) and says to you "oh, i'm sorry"Most people's natural reaction is to say " Oh, thats OK" But come on, do you really mean that? Ok, if its fine let me do it again! We know you don't really mean its ok but we say it anyway.2. You...

Read more »

What being bored at work does

An Ode to Sleepby Me.Oh sleephow doth triest to conquer meBut alas!Above thee i shalt riseThou hath maketh me weekBut alas!I doth not concedeIn my weakest stateshalt mine eyyes lift to bloggerIn my weakest stateShalt my fingers typeIn mmy weakest statedoth does maketh me shun mine true workBut over all mine bodyThou shalt not prevailI shalt dispel thine annointingI shalt maketh a postI shalt overcome thee!Alas, thine only reprieve and victoryshalt beethI shalt maketh a post that doth maketh no sense.F...

Read more »

Miss Teen USA, Miss South Carolina- Related to President Bush?

I wish people would not tell me about these things...I really honestly wish they wouldnt, but they do and, sigh, its just sad. Here is Miss South Carolina in the Miss Teen USA attemptin to answer the judges question. First...WatchHere is President Bush trying to answer a question from the media at a press conferenceSeems like they are in fact blood relatives right, as close as father and daughter.Neway my first reaction to the Teen Miss Carolina was "WHAT THE ..." Seriosuly, my question is, how did she manage to win the Miss Teen Carolina Pagent...they clearly did not have a question and answer segment. Nehoo after being completely stumped i figured i try and decipher/translate what she was trying to say:First reference to Osama- she realized she didnt have a clue but she had swatted an aswer...

Read more »

what you see is Not what you get

Usually, we are pretty much able to trust our eyes, but , technology is making it increasingly impossible to trust anything...anything! What you see is definitely not what you get.Woman, for example to lengths in an effort to "catch a man", they put on so much, that at the end of the day, if they do catch a man, when they remove everything the poor guy would not even recognize the person standing in front of him. Technology has made it possible for us women to temporarily alter our appearances.Man, we have amassed such a large inventory of things (sorry to divulge the secrets ladies but..):padded bras/ push up braspadded underwearmake upeye lashesweaves, braids and extensionssiliconeliposuction...I could go on forever...Some things we have...

Read more »

More Things to do When Bored

1. Practice all your foreign accents. This should last a little time. German and British are two of my favourite, try italian and Russian too, and add your own words to make it even more fun.2. Try and prove that 1+1 is equal to 4, or any other random number you can think of.3. Plan the life of an imaginary child. Start with sex, and name. Go through each year straight up to and after college.4. Make Origami. Its acutally quite fun. It took me a very long time to get that blaster bird right. So this one should keep you occupied for a while.5. Sit and write persoanlized email to all the people in your address book who you actually know. Send a message to all the people you can't figure out who they are and ask them where you know them from.6....

Read more »

Things I've leanrt Because of Hurricane Dean

1. You only NEED five 160z cups of water to bathe.2. It is invariably better to live in Kingston, especially Kgn 6.3. Your cellphone although never used, will lose battery power at an alarmingly fast rate.4. There will always be some idiot outside with an umbrealla trying to fix something during the passage of the hurricane.5. Its a good time to practice holding your bladder for as long as you can.6. Don't fry an egg.7. Using your secret mind power from Things to do when bored Is a whole lot of fun when there is a hurricane.8. Its a lot easier to go through ur neighbour's garbage pan when all the contents are flying all over the place.9. After a hurricane surprisingly is the only time the Garbage Truck comes on the right day and at the right...

Read more »

Hurricane Dean Campaigning for PNP or JLP

DisclaimerThis post is not in any way meant to try and convince anybody to vote for either party in the upcoming general elections. The author of this post is neither affiliated with the JLP or the PNP. this post is meant purely for humour and should be taken as such.If Hurricane Dean does NOT CHANGE COURSE it will definitely be making land over Jamaica by Sunday. If Dean does not change course, then it will be imminent disaster for Jamaica, i would imagine. I couldn't help but notice that the PNP's tag line for this year's general elections is "NOT CHANGING COURSE". How ironic. Is Dean a forewarning for us? If we dont change course then, well, disaster. I don't believe signs, but i find it hilarious and quite ironic that Dean comes a week...

Read more »

itsey bitsey, teeny weeny, HUGELY ANNOYING things

I am easily annoyed, i've been constanly told by the people closest to me, and they should know. But i cannot fathom how people arent annoyed by the things that annoy me. Is it too hard to ask people to be...well a lot of things, so maybe its too much to ask. In any case here are some of those little things that annoy me.1. I hate it when i open a door to let myself in our out, and the people on the other side just push past me when i open the door. HELLO i didn't open the door for u, you got ur own blastd hands, open the door ur darn self! You see him? that's the doorman, thats what i'd look like if i was opening the door for you, don't get it twisted.2. It annoys me when the stupid taxi comes along and keeps blowin ghis horn, over and over...

Read more »

The Life of a Jamaican Taxi- Part 3

Part One Part two Hey everybody. Man, it’s been raining cats and dogs lately. Trust me, definitely not my favourite time at all. Things get very different around here when it rains. It’s sad all round and a bit scary too. I’m constantly in fear that I will get damaged. First of all, everybody comes and plops their wet derrières on my seats. It's quite nasty actually, everybody with varying degrees of wetness and smells. Thats the nice way of putting it, wetness and smells, yes thats it...i wish so much that i could dunk my head in my engine oils, thats a much better smell than what i was experiencing the other day. Thank God my owner, Redis, had the good sense of mind to air me out after all the rains and buy me a "nice smelling air freshener"...

Read more »

Me According to Tickle

Your lips say you've got Flirty Ways What Do Your Lips Say About You? Brought to you by Tic...

Read more »

Check Out the Story...

I’d start by massaging my breasts then I’d trail a line straight down to between my thighs...Follow This Link to read the R...

Read more »

Me and Jamaincan Politics

I am going to write a post relating to politics...I just came home and i spent a good portion of the night listening to and involving my self in arguments about politics; against my better judgment.Nehoo the conclusion i came to is this:This country is not going to change until the politics of the country changes. The party politics thing is what i cannot deal with in this country. I think it hardly matters which party is in power because the same corruption and processes will prevail. Majority of the voting public are persons who are not concerned with the issues but instead chose to vote for 'their party" regardless of what that party stands for, no logic or thought goes into it. The ideology is that "i was born into PNP/JLP and that's where i will stay" its ridiculous. Unfortunately the...

Read more »

A Tragic Comedy

This was an article i read in the Daily Gleaner, yesterday, August 13, 2007. I just had to share. A murder most 'fowl' - Hundreds of chickens die in heartbreaker published: Monday | August 13, 2007 BERLIN, Germany (Reuters):Three hundred chickens died in panic early yesterday when a drunken German teenager on a joyride crashed a van into their shed, police said."Apparently, some of the chickens were so desperate to get away that they ran into the wall and died," the spokesman said. "Others suffered heart attacks."The 17-year-old from the western city of Kassel crashed the van through the wall of a shed containing around 1,000 birds and then returned to a nearby fairground where he was staying, according to a spokesman for the local...

Read more »

When Technology Fights Back

The other day I was in an office and a young lady was trying, beyond all hope to print something. She sent the document to the printer a few times but, to her dismay, the thing just would not print. Eventually, she figured it must be something with the setting on the printer. She proceeded to get up and alter the settings. Hmmm, good idea i thought but the printer it seemed had other plans. I don't even know why all of this happened to catch my attention, but I'm quite glad it did, because for the next couple of minutes i was thoroughly amused. The poor young lady kept changing different things on the printer, to no avail. First she changed the tray, but for some strange reason, it kept skipping back to the default. She was getting quite furious,...

Read more »

To Your Sexual Health- Cervical Cancer

After receiving a comment from Shonari on my last post "To Your sexual health" i decided this week's post would be about Cervical Cancer.Cervical Cancer or Cancer of the cervix is caused by viruses called Human papillomaviruses (HPV) and are spread through sexual contact. This type of cancer takes a while before any symptoms show. Usually we are able to fight the HPV but sometimes the virus leads to cancer. The good news is that Cervical Cancer is almost 100% curable, assuming it it caught early.The least you need to know:What is the CervicThe cervix is part of the female reproductive system. It is the lower narrow part of the uterus. The cervix connects the uterus to the vagina.What is CancerNormally the body produces tissues that grow and divide and form new cells when the body needs them...

Read more »

Writings on the...wall, road side, t-shirt etc

some things that i have seen while going about my "busy" dayon a wall somewhere in the Papine area: Gone but nat far gatten (or summen like that) I assumed it meant gone but not forgotten.all round kingston: Homosexuality cause cancer dont bow, dont suck (interesting dont you think)On a gate in kingston: Plese keep the door Cloused (well at least i could read it, it could classify as Engli...

Read more »

A Day in the Life Of

A basic school child...They wake me up so early every morning, every morning mommy come in and wake me up. I have to bathe in the cold water, it cold you see, and then she get vex when I get vex. My brother, as soon as she turn her back, you see him go throw out the water of of the thermos and get fi bathe with hot water, it no fair, is just true mi likkle.After all a dat, i have to put on this ugly brown uniform, it always untidy, me nuh know who fa ediat idea it was fi mek the stupid tunic wid the buttons down the back. I'm five, and they say they want you to be indripendent and you cant reach the buttons so you can put on the ugly uniforms. I wish i could just hide all a dem and wear me jeans and t-shirt. Cho.See it deh, no breakfast again, how you expect me fi learn and you nuh gi me nutten...

Read more »

Dj's good with their hands

As usual, i was hanging out with my friends the other night and a bredrin of mine was playing some music on the console. He was practicing is scratching and mixing and for some strange reason, the thought came to me; Djs must be good at using their hands to please their partners.He was scratching and keeping perfect timing and it sounded great. It makes sense don't you think, especially for the ladies. When scratching, I can imagine it must be important for the selector/dj to keep perfect timing, to apply just the right pressure and to keep a good rhythm going, and to know when to stop and introduce a new song, or the change the variation to keep the beat interesting.It occurred to me, isn't it the same thing when a man is caressing a woman-wherever!...

Read more »

The Mini Skirt

I love mini-skirts, i like to wear them, (i'm quick to add though that i only own two :)) but what i really like is to see is women in mini-skirts. I see those shocked aghast faces! Calm down, that's not what I meant (sorry to disappoint those who were hoping) I will tell you very shortly why i like women in mini-skirts.Scenario:I'm sitting at UWI student's union and a young lady nicely dressed in a mini-skirt passes by. Hmm, thats not such a bad thing, its not a bad thing at all...except: one step, two steps, three steps...pull down skirt, 4 steps, 5 steps, 6 steps, pull down skirt, 7 steps, 8 steps, 9 steps, pull down skirt. Sigh, why ladies, why? Why would i chose to wear a malfunctioning wardrobe? I'm sure I'm not the only one so lucky to experience this sight. I would imagine your desire...

Read more »

The Wonderful English Language- Words

Well actually, just one word: "Irregardless"Now this word, has caused so much controversy. Yes, one word, one single, English word. Do me a favour, Open word and type it in there....ok...what happens...nothing right, not red underlines, no green underlines, nothing. Ok, now "shift+F7" it or go to the thesaurus...what happens, same thing, NOTHING...don't you find that quite odd. Its not spelled incorrectly, but neither, the UK nor the US dictionary has a meaning for it. Quite odd, hmmm. This all came to me when i was reading a another blog the other day. As far as i was concerned it is not a real English word, so i thought i would go do some research. Here is what i found:The "word" appears to be a blend of two words; irrespective and regardless. It is a semi literate and portmanteau word...

Read more »

To Your Sexual Health- Myths

Myth: You cannot get pregnant during your menses/period.Fact: You CAN get pregnant while you are menstruating. Although it is rare and the chances are slim, the fact is ovulation can start before you actually stop bleeding or shortly after the period stops. If, you then have sex while you are still bleeding and by some rare chance you have started to ovulate then sperm can fertilize the egg, or, even less likely, the sperm lives long enough to fertilize the egg, if you start to ovulate right after your period. So it is possible but not likely. Myth: Condoms protect you from ALL STIs.Fact: Condoms protect you from STDs and STIs that are transmitted through bodily fluids such as HIV. However they do not protect from those that can be transmitted through just body contact such as HPV and herpes...

Read more »

The Life of a Jamaican Taxi- Part 2

Remember me? Yeah, JerryI've had a few more experiences on the Jamaican roads. The more experiences i have, the more i wonder if this was such a good move. I mean, I've picked up on some things i realize are standard. I wondered about this when I first got here but then, so many other taxis were doing it so i figured it wouldn't hurt if i did it. For example, i notice that some of my taxi friends have red plates, and others have white plates like mine. So, I asked a friend of mine the other day what the difference was. You can imagine the utter shock when they told me that the red plates were the legal taxis, and the white plates aren't. Red plates are licensed to carry public passenger, i apparently am not. I almost packed up and went back to Japan, but then they consoled me and told me...

Read more »

Disgusting Men

I am pretty sure every woman out there has been harassed by unscrupulous characters, while walking down the street, or going about their own, daily businesses. I for one get quite annoyed with the pssting, whistling, gawking, ogling men. I don't think that i am particularly more attractive than any other woman, i don't think i get these reactions more than any other woman, but what i would like to know is if it annoys me more than it does other women.Now men, I appreciate the fact that, you appreciate my beauty, sexiness, style, whatever it is that makes you react that way, but sometimes I wonder if you even think things through.First of all you have the "sour grapes" men. They stare at you, call to you do the pssting thing, the works, if you don't respond then they start to tell you how...

Read more »

To Your Sexual Health- The Basics

Sexual health is so important. I know mine is...So every week i will attempt to share some of my knowledge with you about ways to keep you and your body healthy and your sex life healthy.Today, I wanna talk about something very simple and so obvious most persons probably will think of it as NTR (nothing to report) but it is oh so important and is one of the first things people will probably notice about you, at your first encounter; Your appearance and personal hygiene.First impressions last right? So do the second, the third, the fourth....Its quite easy for us to say that you have no need to be fussy when you put on your clothes in the morning to go out (i sometimes fall prey to that kind of thinking) but it is always important to look your best, you never know if you're going to meet Mr....

Read more »

Paying for my Vote

Parliament is trying to pass a bill to make it illegal for persons to show their ballots. Apparently, the trend is for persons to "buy a vote". Apparently, what has been happening for years is that persons buy votes. So, you give me some money, i go into the ballot booth and you watch me place my X in the desired spot.I've worked polling stations before, and it happens. People go into the booth together, or they carry out their ballots to show the world, as far as i was concerned at the time, there was nothing wrong with it and apparently i was right. In any case, there has been some talk about it, saying that it is an unnecessary bill. Some persons make it seem as though its absurd that anybody would sell their vote. These however are the persons who have a different state of reality than...

Read more »

Things to do when you are bored

Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accentSort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.Send spooky emailsLook up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.Burn things with a magnifying glass Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.Have a "Who is less competitive" competition Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.Source: Urban 75....

Read more »

Concept of Jamaican Time

Every country has its own time zone, it's relative to GMT right, or something of the sort. Well, that is not the time i am referring to here. Jamaican time is a rather erratic, unpredictable relative term. However, over the many years that I have had to live here, I have developed a standard, my way of understanding Jamaican Time.Now, I would imagine, in most other countries (imagine because I have not spent enough time in any other county but Jamaica in other to discern what their concept of time is) 10 minutes means ten minutes, soon means, shortly probably 10 minutes, half an hour means 30 minutes, 10am means 10am and so forth, but in Jamaica, NO WAY, don't be fooled. Let me attempt to break it down for youTime in Jamaican terms5-minutes: well surprisingly enough, i don't know if its because...

Read more »

The life of a Jamaican Taxi- Part 1

If you live in Jamaica and, like me are unfortunate enough to have to take public transportation, then you know its always an adventure to take a taxi. I will attempt to look at life through the eyes of the car itself. I wonder what goes through their minds (well if they had one, or maybe they do...i don't know).Part 1Hi my name is Jerry, I'm a white Toyota Corolla. I was born in Japan in 2000. I've had a hard life, i never imagined, when i left my home country, I would have such experiences. Some adventures were good, some were quite scary, others were down right horrible. My poor body has endured so much since i arrived in Jamaica, my driver; though i use that word with much reservation, sometimes the road, my passengers all affect me in different ways.Today i found out that we ply the Half...

Read more »