Jamaican Hottie Hotties

The other day while going home from work I encountered an interesting young lady. I had just walked out to catch a taxi. While I was walking towards the bus stop, i noticed her. She was a slim, short, brown girl. I imagine most men would think her attractive, not wow, but, she was dressed neatly and nicely and she looked pleasant. I noticed her particularly because i took interest in the handbag she had strewn over her shoulder. That's how i am, i love accessories, anyway, since i liked her handbag i decided to take in some more of her outfit.

The handbag that started the next series of events was a beautiful brown guess handbag. This was part of an outfit that included, mini Guess Jeans skirt, brand named, blouse, shoes, and belt to boot. Her hair was well maintained and she had her nails both feet and hands done and of course she wore the latest fashion. I thought to myself cool, she doing well for herself. Anyway, we both caught the same taxi, i got in first and got as comfortable and she came in behind me. She sat down and smiled, then proceeded to touch the taxi man. What happened next was what sparked this post, the words that came out of her mouth after words literally shocked me. This expertly dressed young lady touched the taxi man and say "driver a 60 dollar me have enuh, me nuh have no more".

What on earth!!! I couldn't help it, i had that shocked aghast look on my face i could literally feel my mouth wide open looking on her. After i got over the shock i nearly died laughing. I had to call a friend on my cell phone to distract myself because i really never want her to realize i was laughing at her, cause I'm not a fighter. Its ridiculous, the clothes she had on was worth a lot more than the $70 taxi fare. I was like, 'you're kidding me right' i couldn't believe it. But then its so typical. Have you ever been to Passa Passa or any of those street dances? Those girls that live in the 'ghetto' and bawl that "government nah do nutten fi dem" are dressed from head to two in the latest fashions and in the most expensive outfits and they are the same ones who claim they can't afford the school fees and pay the light and water bills. Their priority instead, is to make sure that they are perceived as the "hot girl" who can "hold her man" and can "walk out inna the video light". It's such a tragic state of affairs. This desire to be the Hottie Hottie Jamaican girl wins out over logic and sense. I blame some of that on the music, I'm listening to the radio right now and I've heard, in the past 10 minutes numerous songs about who is hot and hotter than who and have more than who and better than who...and more of the same. It's really sad though. I'm glad i never grew up in that kind of situation with that kind of mentality. Thank you mom.

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Things We Say That We Don't Really Mean

People tend to just say things off the top of their heads without thinking about it. I've been victim to this truth so many times myself, its just things that we are so accustomed to saying, its what we've been taught to say, its what comes naturally, its part of society's norms, but if you think about half these things, do we really mean what we say?

Take for example the following scenarios:

1. Someone accidentally opens the door the the toilet that you are in the middle of using, (most likely if you fall prey to a weak bladder and are forced to use public conveniences) and says to you "oh, i'm sorry"
Most people's natural reaction is to say " Oh, thats OK" But come on, do you really mean that? Ok, if its fine let me do it again! We know you don't really mean its ok but we say it anyway.

2. You lend someone a good deal of money, probably a few thousand dollars and they start to verbally show their gratitude.
What is the most likely thing to come out of our mouth? "Oh, its nothing, forget about it"
Ha! yeah right, forget about the fact that i lent you a couple thousand dollars that i worked so hard for, i want my money back! But hey, thats not what comes out, its always the ephemistic version of what you really want to say, one day someone is gonna take that crap seriously.

3. Why do we constnatly go through the ritual of " Hey, how are you?"
Truth is, you dont really want to know, you have no intentions of stopping to discuss how the person really is, what you do instead expect to hear is the requsit "i'm doing ok, and you? and then of course you repeat the "i'm fine" part and mosey on your way.

Its so ingrained in us, we don't even realize. We hardly ever say what we mean, what kind of society functions that way. Most of what we do on a daily basis is for appearances, to follow the status quo and not mess with the balance. Things run more smoothly that way. Try doing it a little different one day and see what happens. Especially the last one. Its tragically funny, because if somone in passing says "hey, how are you?" and you go off on a long explanation of how depressed over the death of your pet pup "twizzle" they'll be spun for a loop and would probably have no idea how to deal with the scenario. Trust me, i've tried it.

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What being bored at work does

An Ode to Sleep
by Me.








Oh sleep
how doth triest to conquer me
But alas!
Above thee i shalt rise
Thou hath maketh me week
But alas!
I doth not concede

In my weakest state
shalt mine eyyes lift to blogger
In my weakest state
Shalt my fingers type
In mmy weakest state
doth does maketh me shun mine true work
But over all mine body
Thou shalt not prevail

I shalt dispel thine annointing
I shalt maketh a post
I shalt overcome thee!
Alas, thine only reprieve and victory
shalt beeth
I shalt maketh a post that doth maketh no sense.
Fin!

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Miss Teen USA, Miss South Carolina- Related to President Bush?

I wish people would not tell me about these things...I really honestly wish they wouldnt, but they do and, sigh, its just sad. Here is Miss South Carolina in the Miss Teen USA attemptin to answer the judges question. First...Watch


Here is President Bush trying to answer a question from the media at a press conference


Seems like they are in fact blood relatives right, as close as father and daughter.

Neway my first reaction to the Teen Miss Carolina was "WHAT THE ..." Seriosuly, my question is, how did she manage to win the Miss Teen Carolina Pagent...they clearly did not have a question and answer segment. Nehoo after being completely stumped i figured i try and decipher/translate what she was trying to say:

First reference to Osama- she realized she didnt have a clue but she had swatted an aswer relating to Iraq, since they didnt ask her a question relating to Iraq she thought she'd just slip in the Osama bit to make sure people knew she knew about the war in Iraq...

"people out there dont have maps and i believe our education such as in South Africa and Iraq and every where such as"- translation: people don't have maps so they wouldnt know where to find the USA on it and they dont have Maps because its the the South Africans and the Iraqis who steal the maps.

"I believe our education over here in the US should help the US, should help South Africa and should help directly the Asian Countries..."- translation- its a good thing we attacked Iraq so we can get back our maps and start using the education system to teach the US citizens how to read the maps. It wasn't South Africa's fault so maybe we can use our education system to also better their country.

Again i say "WHAT THE..." Oh by the way, does anybody realize how much she looks like Jessica Simpson? Chicken of the Sea... Maybe they are related too....hmmm!

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what you see is Not what you get

Usually, we are pretty much able to trust our eyes, but , technology is making it increasingly impossible to trust anything...anything! What you see is definitely not what you get.
Woman, for example to lengths in an effort to "catch a man", they put on so much, that at the end of the day, if they do catch a man, when they remove everything the poor guy would not even recognize the person standing in front of him. Technology has made it possible for us women to temporarily alter our appearances.
Man, we have amassed such a large inventory of things (sorry to divulge the secrets ladies but..):

padded bras/ push up bras
padded underwear
make up
eye lashes
weaves, braids and extensions
silicone
liposuction...I could go on forever...

Some things we have we definitely take off at the end of the day and whoa, whole different woman....other things we can just do, reduce this, fix this, add this....its amazing....

and then there is the retouching of pictures. LOL...the Internet is one amazing place to get fooled.



Check out this beautiful pic to ur left for example. Follow the green arrows, amazing right!





And its not just professionals who can do this stuff, believe me, any photo editing software can manipulate a picture in a couple of minutes to produce anything the user wants.. check this out




Well All i know is, I'm rather weary of pictures and people, who knows what might fall out/ or out of a pretty looking young man/ woman who you are ogling down the road.

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More Things to do When Bored

1. Practice all your foreign accents. This should last a little time. German and British are two of my favourite, try italian and Russian too, and add your own words to make it even more fun.

2. Try and prove that 1+1 is equal to 4, or any other random number you can think of.

3. Plan the life of an imaginary child. Start with sex, and name. Go through each year straight up to and after college.

4. Make Origami. Its acutally quite fun. It took me a very long time to get that blaster bird right. So this one should keep you occupied for a while.

5. Sit and write persoanlized email to all the people in your address book who you actually know. Send a message to all the people you can't figure out who they are and ask them where you know them from.

6. Try to write a poem or a song that makes actual sense. If its a song, then try to find some music to go with ur lyrics.

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Things I've leanrt Because of Hurricane Dean

1. You only NEED five 160z cups of water to bathe.

2. It is invariably better to live in Kingston, especially Kgn 6.

3. Your cellphone although never used, will lose battery power at an alarmingly fast rate.

4. There will always be some idiot outside with an umbrealla trying to fix something during the passage of the hurricane.

5. Its a good time to practice holding your bladder for as long as you can.

6. Don't fry an egg.

7. Using your secret mind power from Things to do when bored Is a whole lot of fun when there is a hurricane.

8. Its a lot easier to go through ur neighbour's garbage pan when all the contents are flying all over the place.

9. After a hurricane surprisingly is the only time the Garbage Truck comes on the right day and at the right time.

10. There are too many electricity grids in kingston and it sucks when the person next door to you is on one with electricity and you're not.

11. Flying Zinc although quite a tragedy is quite interesting to watch.

12. Tourists are even more fascinating to watch when they are trying to scramble out of a country which will soon be devasted by hurricane, than flying zinc.

13. TGI Fridays is open until 10pm the night before an expected hurricane.

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Hurricane Dean Campaigning for PNP or JLP

Disclaimer
This post is not in any way meant to try and convince anybody to vote for either party in the upcoming general elections. The author of this post is neither affiliated with the JLP or the PNP. this post is meant purely for humour and should be taken as such.

If Hurricane Dean does NOT CHANGE COURSE it will definitely be making land over Jamaica by Sunday. If Dean does not change course, then it will be imminent disaster for Jamaica, i would imagine. I couldn't help but notice that the PNP's tag line for this year's general elections is "NOT CHANGING COURSE". How ironic. Is Dean a forewarning for us? If we dont change course then, well, disaster. I don't believe signs, but i find it hilarious and quite ironic that Dean comes a week before the country goes to the polls. Sister P, i cant imagine this is a very good omen, well, if the general public catches on, then i'm sure Bruce will be having a field day with this one.

Well people i for one will be hoping Dean changes course, not at all an indication of where i will put my X on August 27th. Keep safe everybody.



WEll on a more serious note:
More on hurricane Dean
Go-local Jamaica Blog- Hurricane Dean
Public advisory on weatherundergroud

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itsey bitsey, teeny weeny, HUGELY ANNOYING things

I am easily annoyed, i've been constanly told by the people closest to me, and they should know. But i cannot fathom how people arent annoyed by the things that annoy me. Is it too hard to ask people to be...well a lot of things, so maybe its too much to ask. In any case here are some of those little things that annoy me.

1. I hate it when i open a door to let myself in our out, and the people on the other side just push past me when i open the door. HELLO i didn't open the door for u, you got ur own blastd hands, open the door ur darn self!
You see him? that's the doorman, thats what i'd look like if i was opening the door for you, don't get it twisted.

2. It annoys me when the stupid taxi comes along and keeps blowin ghis horn, over and over and over again. seriousl, do you think i'm that deaf or that i need that much time to decide whether or not I need a taxi, and the fact that ur've stopped and i am making no attempts to walk towards your car should suggest that I'M NOT INTERESTED GO AWAY.


3. Am I the only one who thinks when i walk into a place of business, especially somewhere i plan to spend my hard earned money, that someone in there should pay you some mind. Today i walked into a restaurant and the cashier is standing there with her friend talking about some crap, hairdresser or something of the sort, while i stood there waiting. Neither of them even looked around, they took their own little time before the cashier decided to come to the register and asked what i wanted. Customer services is not a department, its a thing, its a skill, WHY IS IT THAT WE DON'T HAVE ANYBODY WHO UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT OF CUSTOMER SERVICE, why do i keep having to tell people off! Is it too much to ask???

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The Life of a Jamaican Taxi- Part 3

Part One

Part two

Hey everybody. Man, it’s been raining cats and dogs lately. Trust me, definitely not my favourite time at all. Things get very different around here when it rains. It’s sad all round and a bit scary too. I’m constantly in fear that I will get damaged. First of all, everybody comes and plops their wet derrières on my seats. It's quite nasty actually, everybody with varying degrees of wetness and smells. Thats the nice way of putting it, wetness and smells, yes thats it...i wish so much that i could dunk my head in my engine oils, thats a much better smell than what i was experiencing the other day. Thank God my owner, Redis, had the good sense of mind to air me out after all the rains and buy me a "nice smelling air freshener" that lasted all of three days, i must admit, it was much better than what i was enduring. I can imagine if Redis had a date, he would probably have left me at home and opted to take a car with a better environment.

The encounters I've had over the past couple of weeks have been quite interesting. I'll tell you about one. Quite traumatic, I must say, I was almost sure I would have been taken away and carried to the impound. I've heard many stories about that place. I can't imagine surviving in such a place. No one to take care of me, no chance to drive around, doing what i was designed to do; Having those police officers rummage through my interior, quite degrading. I still shudder from thinking about it. We did our usual journey from Half Way Tree to Campus. Today I think Redis was in a particularly defiant mood. We entered the campus and continued toward the ring road, when we got to the ring road, some young ladies flagged us down. Redis shouted out the usual "half way tree" and some signal was made, Redis stopped. Now, I saw the sign, no disembarking, or stopping. I know my English is very good, i double checked just to make sure the sign was referring to the zone I was in. Now, some of the other taxis told me that UWI is trying to get rid of us taxis because we don’t follow protocols. I have been on the alert, trying everything in my power to help Redis obey the rules and today I tried without any avail to help out. He tried to stop, but I refused, I chuckled a bit, and fought against the breaks, used all my will power and managed to launch myself into a forward movement. Redis was most surprised, he readjusted the gear and attempted again, I couldn't do it anymore.

We stopped. As soon as we did I heard the voice I was afraid of, calling out to us. Redis chose to ignore this summons, I noticed, he continued to call to the young ladies and they too seemed quite oblivious to the security guard trying to get our attention. I got scared, he looked quite upset, I knew what he wanted to do, was to tell us to that we should not be disembarking where we were. Redis, continued to ignore the security guard, and drove off. I’m sure my fear must have shown because I could swear I stalled a bit. We were on our way. Out of no where I saw, in my mirror that the security guard was chasing us. Oh My God, I nearly spat gas out of my tank, he was after us, it was gonna be a chase, I’ve only been here so long and here I am already, running from the law. I got pretty nervous and wondered why Redis seemed so compose. I took some deep breaths, now was not the time to fail him I thought to myself. But there was the security guard closing in, closer, closer, closer. He’s right beside us, he’s flagging us down. Is Redis gonna stop! I don’t know if I want him to. But, wait he is slowing down. I know I must be overheating, am I not? Redis eventually came to a stop. I could feel myself getting even more afraid. I held my breath and waited…(Sigh) what a relief, no impound. Luckily it turns out, though furious, the security guard only warned Redis and explained to him that this was why some taxis were not going to be allowed on the campus. I was one relieved soul. I don’t think I could have dealt with any further shame, especially one such as this, being taken for disobeying the law. My family is known for being quite compliant. I[‘m coming to realize that this is just the beginning of a looooong journey and adventurous life for me.

Jerry.

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Me According to Tickle

Your lips say you've got Flirty Ways


What Do Your Lips Say About You?

Brought to you by Tickle

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Check Out the Story...

I’d start by massaging my breasts then I’d trail a line straight down to between my thighs...

Follow This Link to read the Rest

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Me and Jamaincan Politics

I am going to write a post relating to politics...
I just came home and i spent a good portion of the night listening to and involving my self in arguments about politics; against my better judgment.

Nehoo the conclusion i came to is this:

This country is not going to change until the politics of the country changes. The party politics thing is what i cannot deal with in this country. I think it hardly matters which party is in power because the same corruption and processes will prevail. Majority of the voting public are persons who are not concerned with the issues but instead chose to vote for 'their party" regardless of what that party stands for, no logic or thought goes into it. The ideology is that "i was born into PNP/JLP and that's where i will stay" its ridiculous. Unfortunately the thinking people either decide not to vote because they realize that the majority do not make informed decisions or even if they vote they are, simply, the minority.

What's the point? That's the sentiment...neither parties offer a different ideology, neither party offers persons with different thinking. Same ole shit just a different set of people.

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A Tragic Comedy

This was an article i read in the Daily Gleaner, yesterday, August 13, 2007. I just had to share.

A murder most 'fowl' - Hundreds of chickens die in heartbreaker
published: Monday | August 13, 2007

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters):

Three hundred chickens died in panic early yesterday when a drunken German teenager on a joyride crashed a van into their shed, police said.

"Apparently, some of the chickens were so desperate to get away that they ran into the wall and died," the spokesman said. "Others suffered heart attacks."

The 17-year-old from the western city of Kassel crashed the van through the wall of a shed containing around 1,000 birds and then returned to a nearby fairground where he was staying, according to a spokesman for the local police. The youth was arrested.

Now seriously, can u imagine.

So what occurred to me is this..."did they do and autopsy" on the chickens to determine cause of death? lol

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When Technology Fights Back

The other day I was in an office and a young lady was trying, beyond all hope to print something. She sent the document to the printer a few times but, to her dismay, the thing just would not print. Eventually, she figured it must be something with the setting on the printer. She proceeded to get up and alter the settings. Hmmm, good idea i thought but the printer it seemed had other plans.

I don't even know why all of this happened to catch my attention, but I'm quite glad it did, because for the next couple of minutes i was thoroughly amused. The poor young lady kept changing different things on the printer, to no avail. First she changed the tray, but for some strange reason, it kept skipping back to the default. She was getting quite furious, then finally, the printer yielded, or so she would have hoped. The right tray selected and then, after we thought she was finally out of the woods, the printer started grabbing more than one sheet of paper. I guess by now i came to realize just how resilient this piece of equipment was. This is when i couldn't stave off the uncontrollable urge to laugh. The laugh creped into my poor stomach and would not go away. I guess my brain had looked at the situation and decided that it was in fact going to be a quite funny morning.

Nehoo, where were we, right, the paper, it kept coming up in bunches, and of course got stuck, now it was a quite hilarious site. The young lady, realizing that the printer was indeed a formidable opponent, got some support. Another young lady from the office offered her help and this is when things got really funny, well for me anyway. The printer just would not give in...now imagine, two ladies, one young, one not so quite young, trying to pull out the paper, yes both of them, using all their energy and set in some very uncomfortable positions, one using the table as support, holding on to it, and the other holding on to a nearby photocopier and bracing feet and all, trying to pull out a bunch of papers out of a printer...Quite funny indeed, i wish i had a camera at the time to show you all of this. In any case, in the battle of technology vs humans, technology 1, humans 0. One UP for technology. LOL

It looked something like this:

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To Your Sexual Health- Cervical Cancer

After receiving a comment from Shonari on my last post "To Your sexual health" i decided this week's post would be about Cervical Cancer.

Cervical Cancer or Cancer of the cervix is caused by viruses called Human papillomaviruses (HPV) and are spread through sexual contact. This type of cancer takes a while before any symptoms show. Usually we are able to fight the HPV but sometimes the virus leads to cancer. The good news is that Cervical Cancer is almost 100% curable, assuming it it caught early.

The least you need to know:
What is the Cervic
The cervix is part of the female reproductive system. It is the lower narrow part of the uterus. The cervix connects the uterus to the vagina.

What is Cancer
Normally the body produces tissues that grow and divide and form new cells when the body needs them and ultimately old cells die. Sometimes however, things do not go according to plan; new tissues are formed when we don't need them and or the old cells do not die. As a result, we have extra cells that we don't need and they form a mass and that mass we call a tumor. Tumor can then get cancerous.
Risk Factors:
1. Having HPV. It is the highest risk factor.
2. Not doing PAP Smears. PAP smears help doctors to find abnormal cells if they are present.
3. Age- The older you get the higher the risks
4. Woman having many sexual partners or who has is having sex with a man who has had many sexual partners.
5. Smoking cigarettes. chemicals from cigarettes may damage and weaken cervical cells making it hard to fight off infections.
6. Using Birth control pills for five years or more.
7. Early sexual activity. The cervical cells in younger women are more fragile and more easily damaged by frequent sexual intercourse.

What you can do:
1. Have regular pap smears. If you are over 21 or sexually active, go and schedule a PAP test, if you have never had one. This is the most important step. Your doctor will be able to advise you after this.

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Writings on the...wall, road side, t-shirt etc

some things that i have seen while going about my "busy" day

on a wall somewhere in the Papine area: Gone but nat far gatten (or summen like that) I assumed it meant gone but not forgotten.

all round kingston: Homosexuality cause cancer dont bow, dont suck (interesting dont you think)

On a gate in kingston: Plese keep the door Cloused (well at least i could read it, it could classify as English)

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A Day in the Life Of

A basic school child...

They wake me up so early every morning, every morning mommy come in and wake me up. I have to bathe in the cold water, it cold you see, and then she get vex when I get vex. My brother, as soon as she turn her back, you see him go throw out the water of of the thermos and get fi bathe with hot water, it no fair, is just true mi likkle.

After all a dat, i have to put on this ugly brown uniform, it always untidy, me nuh know who fa ediat idea it was fi mek the stupid tunic wid the buttons down the back. I'm five, and they say they want you to be indripendent and you cant reach the buttons so you can put on the ugly uniforms. I wish i could just hide all a dem and wear me jeans and t-shirt. Cho.

See it deh, no breakfast again, how you expect me fi learn and you nuh gi me nutten fi eat. Hiss teeth, and when me drop a sleep a school, you see how teacher tell me seh me lazy and no do no work and then you come beat me when she tell you that, like a no your fault, since all you do a pack me up with the taste bad juice dem and the sweety. Just because me a five no mean seh me no like nothing else. I like macrooni and cheese for your information.

Stupid taxi man! She not even come one morning fi mek sure seh dis ediat can drive. Look how much a we pack up inna the cyar, like a sardine, and him so ugly too, him and him screw up face girlfriend, like is our fault him drive taxi and haffi pick we up. Me caan wait fi reach, not that school all that exciting anyway.

Good morning miss Clairwood. School is so boring. We come and do devotion, sing the same song dem every morning, like seh, we caan think a nothing else, and this woman, who she think she be, which one a we she think have a clue what we a sing bout, the song just nice fi dance to.

The days of the week are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday..., square, triangle, circle, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10..., rainy weather, sunny weather, cloudy weather, windy weather, blue, green...all morning long...

Sit up straight, turn around in your chair, stop this, stop that, you don't hear a calling to you? What you doing, what you building, what colour is it, where you going, what i said, who called you, too much noise, no, no, stop stop, behave, behave....no little, nice girl, nice boy, wow that's nice, you are really trying, you look pretty today, you are being so quiet, no little anything fi make we feel good. All day long, pure questioning, me feel like me a go buss. Cho. And then when me reach home, same thing all over again...you do your home work, you wash you plate, go bathe, turn off the tv.......Me so mad, a wonder if anybody ever realize seh me a smaddy too? Just because me likkle and cyan do betta? Just because me small and my voice week? I'm here, down here, see me here, i'm gonna be big like you one day, what are you doing to make sure I am worthwhile when i grow up?

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Dj's good with their hands

As usual, i was hanging out with my friends the other night and a bredrin of mine was playing some music on the console. He was practicing is scratching and mixing and for some strange reason, the thought came to me; Djs must be good at using their hands to please their partners.
He was scratching and keeping perfect timing and it sounded great. It makes sense don't you think, especially for the ladies. When scratching, I can imagine it must be important for the selector/dj to keep perfect timing, to apply just the right pressure and to keep a good rhythm going, and to know when to stop and introduce a new song, or the change the variation to keep the beat interesting.

It occurred to me, isn't it the same thing when a man is caressing a woman-wherever! He has to know just where to touch, how much pressure to apply, keep a nice good rhythm, and know when to introduce a kiss here, or there, or to insert a finger here or there etc, right? Not only that, but i can imagine that a dj might just be more skilled, considering how fast he has to move his fingers while taking into consideration so many other things. Its an unfair advantage don't you think. Well, I'm sure non-dj, music selecting men can be pretty good from mere practice or because they take a special pride in what they do. Women, wouldn't it be great to have a DJ in your life...LOL...maybe just maybe.

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The Mini Skirt

I love mini-skirts, i like to wear them, (i'm quick to add though that i only own two :)) but what i really like is to see is women in mini-skirts. I see those shocked aghast faces! Calm down, that's not what I meant (sorry to disappoint those who were hoping) I will tell you very shortly why i like women in mini-skirts.

Scenario:
I'm sitting at UWI student's union and a young lady nicely dressed in a mini-skirt passes by. Hmm, thats not such a bad thing, its not a bad thing at all...except: one step, two steps, three steps...pull down skirt, 4 steps, 5 steps, 6 steps, pull down skirt, 7 steps, 8 steps, 9 steps, pull down skirt. Sigh, why ladies, why? Why would i chose to wear a malfunctioning wardrobe? I'm sure I'm not the only one so lucky to experience this sight. I would imagine your desire to wear something nice and appealing for the young men or young women, but i surely do think that your constant fixing, adjusting and rearranging would definitely detract from the confident, sexy image you probably were trying to portray. I mean seriously, it's hilarious. By the time she adjusts that thing twice, her confidence level must be plummeting. If not, then Kudos to you. You are a different breed of woman, especially if you hear me snickering behind you, which i find it very hard not to do, since its your fault, this is even happening.

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The Wonderful English Language- Words

Well actually, just one word: "Irregardless"

Now this word, has caused so much controversy. Yes, one word, one single, English word. Do me a favour, Open word and type it in there....ok...what happens...nothing right, not red underlines, no green underlines, nothing. Ok, now "shift+F7" it or go to the thesaurus...what happens, same thing, NOTHING...don't you find that quite odd. Its not spelled incorrectly, but neither, the UK nor the US dictionary has a meaning for it. Quite odd, hmmm. This all came to me when i was reading a another blog the other day. As far as i was concerned it is not a real English word, so i thought i would go do some research. Here is what i found:

The "word" appears to be a blend of two words; irrespective and regardless. It is a semi literate and portmanteau word (didn't know what the heck that meant either but apparently its a word that come from the combination of two words...wow you would never imagine, nehoo, i digress).

So what it is: its a word that has been recognized because of its common use. It is in fact a double negative. Regardless means: "in spite of", "despite", "in any case" etc. It is however not officially a grammatically correct English word. It is used in informal settings but is not really acceptable in formal print, "irregardless" of the fact that its is so often used.

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To Your Sexual Health- Myths

Myth: You cannot get pregnant during your menses/period.
Fact: You CAN get pregnant while you are menstruating. Although it is rare and the chances are slim, the fact is ovulation can start before you actually stop bleeding or shortly after the period stops. If, you then have sex while you are still bleeding and by some rare chance you have started to ovulate then sperm can fertilize the egg, or, even less likely, the sperm lives long enough to fertilize the egg, if you start to ovulate right after your period. So it is possible but not likely.

Myth: Condoms protect you from ALL STIs.
Fact: Condoms protect you from STDs and STIs that are transmitted through bodily fluids such as HIV. However they do not protect from those that can be transmitted through just body contact such as HPV and herpes simplex

Myth: You can't get STDs or STIs from giving or receiving oral sex.
Fact: YOU can, its that simple. STDs like warm damp places and some of those STD/STIs are HPV, herpes simplex, gonorrhea, syphilis, and Hepatitis B, you can even get HIV from performing Oral sex, but the chances are very low.


Myth: You cannot get pregnant if the man pulls out before he ejaculates/cums/orgasms
Fact: Uhm, yeah you can and even though MANY of us women have been lucky, it is very much possible; Pre-cum is released when a guy gets aroused/horny/hard/etc.. and that pre-cum has sperm! yes it does, so you can get pregnant if one sperm is strong enough to swim to that egg and fertilize it.

These are some myths i thought needed to be clarified. Too many young persons end up with unwanted pregnancies and STIs because of a lack of knowledge. Knowledge is power, empower your self. Know.

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The Life of a Jamaican Taxi- Part 2

Remember me? Yeah, Jerry

I've had a few more experiences on the Jamaican roads. The more experiences i have, the more i wonder if this was such a good move. I mean, I've picked up on some things i realize are standard. I wondered about this when I first got here but then, so many other taxis were doing it so i figured it wouldn't hurt if i did it. For example, i notice that some of my taxi friends have red plates, and others have white plates like mine. So, I asked a friend of mine the other day what the difference was. You can imagine the utter shock when they told me that the red plates were the legal taxis, and the white plates aren't. Red plates are licensed to carry public passenger, i apparently am not. I almost packed up and went back to Japan, but then they consoled me and told me that every one was doing it. So I learned that when transport authority is on the road, i will have to keep my very dark tinted windows wound all the way up, and my route might change a bit to avoid running into the authorities, I also know that this is the only time we carry the proper load, no overloading on those days. These days i like for the relief on my transmission, my owner even takes his foot off the gas sometimes on these days, good relief, yes good relief.

I've also learnt that Jamaicans love their cell phones. It's bad enough i have to deal with all the sounds of my engine but i also have to deal with the constant chatter of Jamaican women on their cell phones. It seems they have no better time to have a conversation with their friend, than when they have boarded my car. I mean, all the things i hear, about i think its 'baby fathers" and all sorts of things. I would have imagined that this was the type of thing you would rather not discuss in public, but. no, that is not the case. Well those are just a few things I've learned since I've been here. I hope my friends in Japan are having fun, I am missing them so much. Till Later, Jerry.

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Disgusting Men

I am pretty sure every woman out there has been harassed by unscrupulous characters, while walking down the street, or going about their own, daily businesses. I for one get quite annoyed with the pssting, whistling, gawking, ogling men. I don't think that i am particularly more attractive than any other woman, i don't think i get these reactions more than any other woman, but what i would like to know is if it annoys me more than it does other women.

Now men, I appreciate the fact that, you appreciate my beauty, sexiness, style, whatever it is that makes you react that way, but sometimes I wonder if you even think things through.
First of all you have the "sour grapes" men. They stare at you, call to you do the pssting thing, the works, if you don't respond then they start to tell you how ugly you are, and start to describe the other parts of you tell you what they think is undesirable (I'm Jamaican so i will relate my experiences) Usually it goes like this:

- psst, browning, psst, psst, psst psst,
-(i don't respond) frankly i assume I'm not the browning they are referring to on this particular occasion.
-hey ugly gal, you see how you foot dem bend up, you a come gwaan like, gweh you ugly like...
it amazes me, usually i just laugh...its quite funny actually.

Then you have the "stalkers": they are going in the opposite direction and then they stop to call to you. If you pay them no mind, they start to follow you, i assume in a attempt to get you to realize just what you are missing out on. Eventually these too become "sour grapers"

Next we have the "drive bys" : now this particular set i cant fathom, I'm walking, you're driving, or you're in a car, and you stick your head outside the window to psst and gawk and say hi...now seriously have you thought this through, and if i answer then what, you are already half way up the fricking road, with your head still sticking out the window, even if i was kind enough to say hi where would that lead, and why on earth do you keep psssting....hello...what next?

All are quite annoying to me. Once i actually answered on of these men, and i stood there waiting for the "what next" it never came, poor guy looked so shocked I'm almost sure he pied a little inside his pants. Please men, don't do it. Stop harassing people on the roads. Please Please Stop. Sigh. Thank you.

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To Your Sexual Health- The Basics

Sexual health is so important. I know mine is...So every week i will attempt to share some of my knowledge with you about ways to keep you and your body healthy and your sex life healthy.

Today, I wanna talk about something very simple and so obvious most persons probably will think of it as NTR (nothing to report) but it is oh so important and is one of the first things people will probably notice about you, at your first encounter; Your appearance and personal hygiene.

First impressions last right? So do the second, the third, the fourth....Its quite easy for us to say that you have no need to be fussy when you put on your clothes in the morning to go out (i sometimes fall prey to that kind of thinking) but it is always important to look your best, you never know if you're going to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right.

1. Always take a bath, even if you are just popping to the supermarket for a few seconds. You never know what might happen that could cause you to be out a little longer than you expected.

2. Always wear clean clothes, that includes clean underwear, and guys, yes you need to change those shorts that you've been lying around the house in. It's just like wearing panties, how nasty it would be if a woman kept on the same panties for two days, thats gross right.

3. It's not important to wear make up every time you go out of the house, if it is your preference then that's fine, just make sure that your hair is combed, deodorant is fresh, face washed, teeth brushed, and you are wearing a pleasant face.

4. Don't do the perfume/cologne over kill, even if every thing is going right, that potential someone might just be turned off because its too caustic to come close.

5. Wear clothes that are comfortable but flattering. No sense putting on the most awesome outfit if you don't feel comfortable, your lack of comfort will be obvious and will undermine the beauty of the outfit anyway.

6. Men, keep yourself grooomed, unless of course you are intentionally going for the grunge look, but you know, you still have to get that right. Some people go for the more rustic look and that's fine but while you are doing that, don't forget the image you portray and ignore the fact that some people might just not see things your way.

7. If you do choose to wear make up, please make sure you know what you are doing, i am always for less it best but thats an opinion and i would rather not impose it on anyone, but make sure your make up is well done, always check to make sure foundation is smooth, lipstick is only on the lips etc.

Well thats the basics. I'm sure everyone has gotten this part right. Next week we'll go deeper into your sexual health.

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Paying for my Vote

Parliament is trying to pass a bill to make it illegal for persons to show their ballots. Apparently, the trend is for persons to "buy a vote". Apparently, what has been happening for years is that persons buy votes. So, you give me some money, i go into the ballot booth and you watch me place my X in the desired spot.

I've worked polling stations before, and it happens. People go into the booth together, or they carry out their ballots to show the world, as far as i was concerned at the time, there was nothing wrong with it and apparently i was right. In any case, there has been some talk about it, saying that it is an unnecessary bill. Some persons make it seem as though its absurd that anybody would sell their vote. These however are the persons who have a different state of reality than the persons out there who would never find them self in such a situation. These are the persons who: have their 9-5 jobs, and drive reliable cars, can pay their bills, feel their children and send them to reputable schools. These are the persons who would not understand, it seems, the benefit of a few not so hard earned thousand dollars.

It's not such a difficult concept to wrap your head around. Imagine for a minute, someone who has a vote, but who does not plan to exercise their right to vote, being approached by someone, willing to offer a couple thousand dollars for you to put on a pair of flip flops, t-shirt and pants, walk down the street, place your X beside the bell or the head, dip your finger in some ink, skew the election results by one vote, walk back to your house and go back to things as normal. Simple right, quite so. I find it hard to cast a judgmental eye towards someone who takes up such an opportunity. Money, although available, is not easily acquired, and why not, if in an instant, you can, without breaking any laws, earn a little extra.

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Things to do when you are bored

Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.

Send spooky emails
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.

Burn things with a magnifying glass
Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.

Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

Source: Urban 75.com

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Concept of Jamaican Time

Every country has its own time zone, it's relative to GMT right, or something of the sort. Well, that is not the time i am referring to here. Jamaican time is a rather erratic, unpredictable relative term. However, over the many years that I have had to live here, I have developed a standard, my way of understanding Jamaican Time.

Now, I would imagine, in most other countries (imagine because I have not spent enough time in any other county but Jamaica in other to discern what their concept of time is) 10 minutes means ten minutes, soon means, shortly probably 10 minutes, half an hour means 30 minutes, 10am means 10am and so forth, but in Jamaica, NO WAY, don't be fooled. Let me attempt to break it down for you

Time in Jamaican terms

5-minutes: well surprisingly enough, i don't know if its because we didn't learn time in basic schools, but five minutes can run you anywhere from 10 minutes to 30 minutes...or even more (there is always an option for "even more").

10-Minutes: same thing, anything over ten minutes usually about half an hour or more (so keep adding about 10 minutes to the time given, to get the actual time that you will be waiting)

(Here is my favourite) Soon: now, get this, "soon" is actually the longest time frame possible in Jamaican time- soon usually means anything, but its never sooner than later. Take this example: a friend of mine called me one evening to say he's coming to pick me up, "he'll soon be there", i got ready, hurried no less, and then..........about 3 hours later i got a call, "I'm five minutes away i soon reach". Now i was a bit concerned because, from our previous arrangement soon turned out to be 3 hours and if he was 5 minutes away and soon come it meant that 5 minutes for him is actually 3 hours...lets check the calculation

soon come = 3 hours (we know that for a fact)
therefore if 5minutes= soon come
then 5 minutes = 3 hours. you followed right?....good

Next thing to understand when in Jamaica and dealing with time:

1. someone says they will pick you up at 4:30pm it means they will be leaving their house between 4:30 and 4:45, not that you will actually be picked up at 4:30.

2. If something is set to start at 10:00am, getting there at 10:00 am will make you half an hour early, starts at 10:00am really means starts at 10:30 am but we saying 10:00 so that everybody will get there by 10:30, and then it will really start at 11:00am because of all the running around that has to be done when everybody actually gets there at 10:30.

3. If a party is Free BEFORE 11 it is a guarantee, that every Jamaican, him mother and him dog, is going to be there at 10...however, the gates to the venue will not be open until 11, so...i don't know how they work that out.

In any case, the point is, you need to be very aware of Jamaican Time, or else you will have a miserable time. This is factual data trust me on that one :)

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The life of a Jamaican Taxi- Part 1

If you live in Jamaica and, like me are unfortunate enough to have to take public transportation, then you know its always an adventure to take a taxi. I will attempt to look at life through the eyes of the car itself. I wonder what goes through their minds (well if they had one, or maybe they do...i don't know).

Part 1

Hi my name is Jerry, I'm a white Toyota Corolla. I was born in Japan in 2000. I've had a hard life, i never imagined, when i left my home country, I would have such experiences. Some adventures were good, some were quite scary, others were down right horrible. My poor body has endured so much since i arrived in Jamaica, my driver; though i use that word with much reservation, sometimes the road, my passengers all affect me in different ways.Today i found out that we ply the Half Way Tree to Papine route. I'm a bit excited. I'm new to this, some of the other cars seem to be excited to be taxis. I don't know what to expect, it's my first time in Jamaica.

Here i am parked at the taxi stand, there are so many cars here. I'm trying to look my best, help my owner get as many passengers as possible. Right now I'm quite shiny so I'm not concerned. Oh here comes a girl; "Papine, UC, Campus" "my girl, Papine UC Campus" "yuh a come?", i see him hold on to her hand, but she doesn't look too pleased, but she's coming anyway. Ouch, take time with my door, why did she have to slam the door, i felt that all the way up my spark plug! I wonder if she knows that if she keeps doing that my poor door might soon fall off. Ok let me calm down its just one person, "Slam, Slam Slam" "Ouch Ouch Ouch", what on earth is going on!

We're off, oh my, he has a heavy foot doesn't he, he'll slow down, hey, that was a red light, what the, you can't cut him off like that, you can't treat the other road users like that. Why is he going into the filter lane, i thought Papine was straight. Ok, maybe i was wrong. What! did he just cut in front of him? but the white line is all the way back there. Why is everyone just sitting there and not saying anything? What's that beeping, oh, right my seat belt light, maybe they just forgot. Hey you, put on your seat belt, don't you see this is a mad man, HEY PUT ON YOUR SEAT BELT! It's hopeless, that noise is going to drive me crazy.

We're coming near to Campus, last stop. Sigh that was an interesting first drive on route. That beeping is still in my head, and my spark plug is still vibrating from all the door slamming. I'm so ashamed, so many others saw me racing up the road,way outside the speed limit, they saw me bad drive other cars, they saw me run the stop light. How am i going to ever live this down. No one in Japan quite prepared me for this.

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